while watching a youth soccer match consisting solely of short versions of my friends and acquaintances, i came across a stick with a leather loop at the end. i realized this was the horse-whip used by alice cooper in his "feed my frankenstein" concert appearance in Wayne's World.
softly, i began to hum the melody to "feed my frankenstein," and crack the whip at just the right times. i sensed a presence to my left: it was alice cooper in the flesh, in full make-up. he gave me a thumbs up and i was overwhelmed by the abundance of righteousness in the world.
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