shaped like a mitten, cold like a cowboy

ahoy children of israel! i bring great news from the north.

a lie. i have no news. but the bloggery beckons el vaquero frio nevertheless to his innumerable adoring digital fans.

i love you all. alas! you know not how bone-chillingly high my secret hit-counter for this site has risen! rest assured: bone-chillingly high.

know this:

michigan is cold and they have a large football stadium.

the construction workers who've been painting my house for a month play strictly pop country hits starting at 8:30am

when the football team plays, energy drinks and chewing tobaccos sponsor frat house tailgating parties.

i still like ann arbor.

there are a billion record stores.

it's lots of work

but better than actual work

calculus is my favorite class

if i was a crazy man, i would ride a pony-on-a-stick always.

i will try to post real things when real things happen.

not that they haven't

i'm just lazy again, and it's marvelous

as an added treat just for you, i have written a tlcnet-style angst poem about graduate school:

Softly have they hewn,
cleverly;
the names of the sweater-clad tenured ones,
their studies,
their research methods,
their aclu donation receipts,
their beards,
their contempt for the cell phone,
their memorized seating charts,
their powerpoint presentations,
their poopy journals;

Softly have they hewn,
cleverly;
hewn them into the living skulls of the admitted,
like so many squealing, teething, milk-hungry tiger cubs,
fed daily on the lactose of their homogenized,
pasteurized brain feculence,
corking each precious fang
with
the
blood
of
the
righteous.

did you like my poem? i love you.