at long last, i embark on another trip to glorious reno this weekend. shall i again win $300 on slot machines? again win $130 on roulette, while losing on craps and blackjack, games with comparably colossal odds? or shall i again share a country fried steak with an overweight accountant and his recently purchased drunken ukrainian bride?
reno is a place of endless possibilities.
this trip, i shall be called Burt Chandling, a pool and spa salesman from Walnut Creek.
Showing posts with label roadtrip stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label roadtrip stories. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, July 16, 2007
reno
on friday at 7:30pm we decide, fuck it, let's go to reno. 2 1/2 hours later i'm eating greasy fish n chips at circus circus across from a 60 year old bald guy from seattle and his sunglassed, ukrainian counterpart.
"you winnin' or losin'?" he smalltalks.
"just got here" we reply.
"i'm up $130. that'll pay for our wedding tomorrow. she's from ukraine."
"congratulations."
"she's never seen a $100 bill before."
the waitress comes and he orders booze for both of them. it takes some persuading: the ukrainian is obvioulsy way past drunk.
"she's never seen so many cars before. in russia, everyone takes the bus."
"gas is expensive over there," i say, trying desperately to convince myself this is a normal conversation so as not to make bizarro faces.
"well, it's only a dollar more," he says. "you ordered too much food. you're never going to eat all that. you'll have to take it to your room. she can't get enough of that $100 bill, man!"
welcome to civilization! where ukraine = russia, there's no public transportation and everyone's married to a crotchbat who never stops talking. the strangest part for her must have been being introduced to america at circus circus in reno. rarely have i seen such a dazzling juxtaposition of neon, taz shirts, small children, mustaches and prostitutes.
i was down $60 that night but up $200 the next day, which paid for the trip.
reno, baby. reno.
"you winnin' or losin'?" he smalltalks.
"just got here" we reply.
"i'm up $130. that'll pay for our wedding tomorrow. she's from ukraine."
"congratulations."
"she's never seen a $100 bill before."
the waitress comes and he orders booze for both of them. it takes some persuading: the ukrainian is obvioulsy way past drunk.
"she's never seen so many cars before. in russia, everyone takes the bus."
"gas is expensive over there," i say, trying desperately to convince myself this is a normal conversation so as not to make bizarro faces.
"well, it's only a dollar more," he says. "you ordered too much food. you're never going to eat all that. you'll have to take it to your room. she can't get enough of that $100 bill, man!"
welcome to civilization! where ukraine = russia, there's no public transportation and everyone's married to a crotchbat who never stops talking. the strangest part for her must have been being introduced to america at circus circus in reno. rarely have i seen such a dazzling juxtaposition of neon, taz shirts, small children, mustaches and prostitutes.
i was down $60 that night but up $200 the next day, which paid for the trip.
reno, baby. reno.
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